Rock and Roll lifestyle or wicked chemical dependency?

Guns N’ Roses has pulled out of a show in Portland because they were prohibited by law from drinking onstage. Their excuse will stand as a monument of bullshit to which others can aspire.

LEWISTON, Maine - Guns N' Roses canceled a performance in Portland, Maine this week after being told by state officials that the band could not drink on stage.

Inspectors from the state fire marshal's office gave the band the no-drinking order when they came to look over the pyrotechnics planned for Monday's scheduled concert at the Cumberland County Civic Center, said Stephen McCausland, spokesman for the Maine Public Safety Department.

McCausland said the band had wanted to drink beer, wine and Jagermeister while performing. A couple of hours after being told that would violate state law, Guns N' Roses canceled its concert, he said.

After the cancellation, a band spokesperson blamed fire marshals for "making it impossible for the band to perform their show to the usual high standards that their fans deserve." The press release, however, did not give a specific reason for the pullout.

Call me crazy but I think “high standards” and alcohol consumption are usually mutually exclusive terms. Tell me how high the standards are when someone is horny, it is two in the morning and the bar is closing. From my experience, the only thing about a person that improves with Jagermeister is the distance achieved while projectile vomiting.

Anyway, it is probably safe to start the countdown clock for Axl's inevitable journey to rehab.