Hurting

This is going to be hard so if I offend anyone, please understand that I am trying to make sense of my feelings regarding the horrendous events in Blacksburg today. You see, I am a Hokie through and through. Class of ’95, I bleed Chicago Maroon and Burnt Orange. My grandfather, an uncle, an aunt and a cousin went to Tech. I met my wife there as well as most of my friends. I keep my wife by me always. I keep my grandfather’s graduation ring in a box in my armoire so that I can take it out and look at it every once in a while. He died before I could meet him but that is the one link outside of the obvious that we share.

And I know this - we love the school and the town. The wonderful people that I had the opportunity to befriend there will be in my heart always. That place taught me so much that I will forever be in its debt. Tech holds a place in my heart like no other. I will vote Republican, drive a foreign car, anything really, before I will ever, ever lose my love for all things Virginia Tech (Marcus Vick excluded).

Today, I learned that a place for which the worst memory I can conjure was a 2-8-1 football season, has been tainted with the blood of innocents in numbers beyond belief. I keep thinking that this is simply not possible, not in my Blacksburg. But it is no longer my Blacksburg. Some crazy, evil motherfucker has KILLED 30 PLUS PEOPLE IN THE PLACE I LOVE MOST ON THIS EARTH. I fear that this wonderful, utterly bucolic place will be linked forever to this heinous day. So please, anyone wishing to point fingers at the university’s response, the police response, argue gun control laws (for or against), or whatever, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Make your point later. Now is not the time.

The Hokie Nation is hurting tonight. A hurt that is acute to many of us that loved the place so very much. But our hurt is nothing when compared to those that hurt so much more.

All I can say for those who may have lost a loved one today is may they find their peace. I cannot imagine what this must be like. When I thought today of losing my almost two year old son in a similar fashion, I was ashamed that I even allowed my mind to go there. I came home to my boy. So equating what I am feeling to those poor families mourning tonight is so selfish.

My heart goes out to them. Hokie Nation hurts with them.