A-Rod better get his check writing hand limbered up

I don’t normally get into the whole celebrity gossip thing because it mostly bores the shit out of me but I am trying to figure out what is the most embarrassing/baffling thing I have learned about A-Rod since his adultery story broke. Is it:

1. That he will apparently sleep with anything (strippers, Madonna, the neighbor’s mailbox, etc).
2. That he thinks Madonna is worth the millions he stands to lose in the divorce.
3. That he drinks Sex on the Beach.

1 and 2 are bad enough but come on, Sex on the Beach! No self-respecting straight man should be caught dead with that frou-frou cocktail unless he has lost a bet or is carrying it to his date. Hella-lame.