Today is going to be a good day

I knew that today was going to be alright when I saw this headline on HuffPo:

Ann Coulter's Jaw Wired Shut: Report

Cue Nelson Muntz and let me just say that any well of sympathy I might have had for that soulless waif of a harpie evaporated about the same time as her sense of decency and restraint. Have fun with the blender Ann!