Versatile

L. and watched 'Capote' last night. I must say that I didn't enjoy the film nearly as much as she did but I was, once again, amazed at the skills of Philip Seymour Hoffman. The guy can play almost anything: a wretch in 'Happiness', a shy loser in 'Boogie Nights', the overconfident has-been in 'Along Came Polly'. Hell - I would consider watching 'Mission Impossible 3' just to see how good a villain he can be. He is one of the rare actors, like Paul Giamatti or Tom Hanks, who can say SO much with a facial expression that you instantly believe the protrayal of the character. Guys like this make bad movies bearable and good ones great.

AAAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! - THIS MUST BE STOPPED

OK - I am really trying to keep a cool head about this but if this post descends into a screaming tirade of obscenity, apologies up front. I love Frank Sinatra. He is the definition of cool motherfucker. He is the only person cooler than Steve McQueen or Samuel L. Jackson (the reigning coolest living guy on the planet). Frank was tough, passionate, and completely original. He had almost limitless talent and he operated by his own set of rules. He was the King of Hoboken, boozer extraordinaire, legendary lady's man, and the Democrat that may have gotten (with the help of his Mob friends) JFK elected. He won ten Grammys, an Oscar, and founded Reprise Records. He was swagger, lust for life, and "I don’t give a fuck" personified. It takes a special sort of person to earn the title of Chairman of the Board.

Michael Bolton is the anti-Sinatra. He is a milquetoast; passionate in the sense that his music is meant to send unhappily married women into vapors but with no real substance. For the better part of his career, he sported the most ridiculous hairstyle this side of Billy Ray Cyrus. And most unforgivable, he steals other people's best music rather than try to come up with his own. Bolton has already defiled the great Otis Redding; a man with a most distinctive and powerful voice. Otis may have had the best pure voice of the whole Motown era and the songs he sang were his alone. Redding owned (Sitting on) The Dock of the Bay. That song is straight up iconic. It stood up for twenty years until Michael Badhair raped it. And now the bastard wants to take on Mr. Sinatra.

The whole notion that an empty vessel such as Michael Bolton could tackle Sinatra is laughable on its face. Frank would have personally beaten the shit out of him. Bolton has no swagger, no style of his own, and no sense of humor. It is one thing for Sid Vicious to cover "My Way". Sid was a clown stealing the sentiment but completely reworking the song. I actually like his version as it plays as farce. Sid knew it was a joke. I am sure that Sinatra would have understood that. I am also sure that Bolton approached this project with complete earnestness, as he sees himself as a real artist. This is his error.

Aside for my aversion to Bolton stealing another man's genius for his own mediocre talents, two other issues bug me to no end. For starters, the subtitle of "Bolton Swings Sinatra" - ungh. You must be kidding me. In our physical universe, that is not even possible. Bolton does not swing in comparison to Old Blue Eyes. To suggest so on the cover of an album covering that man's music is blasphemy. Secondly, he duets with his current flame, Nicollette Sheridan (!?!?!?) of Desperate Housewives, on "The Second Time Around". OMG - make it stop.

I have not heard this album. It may be unfair to have judged it without hearing it. Fair enough. But I have heard Bolton drag other greats into the sonic gutter and I cannot bear the idea that he would do it again to yet another American musical legend. So screw the fairness. This man must be stopped before he can kill another artist's songbook again.

Credit where credit is due

I have spent many a line criticizing our President. I don't believe that I have given him anything but his due in regard to the execution of his duties. That said, most of (probably all of) what I said in regard to Pres. Bush was derogatory. Then, on Thursday night, in view of God and everyone else, he admitted a mistake. Actually, two; and acceptance is the first step to recovery. Our previously infallible leader stated that his "tough talk" had been an error. Yes dear readers, "Bring it on" was not the hit the Pentagon thought it was. In addition, the prison torture scandal had not worked out in our favor. Imagine...

Despite the obvious opportunity to wax evil and bitchy, I give the man credit for stepping up to the plate and saying he made a mistake. It is not easy in my job to admit an error; definitely much more so in his job. But the utter lack of humility previously exhibited by this White House makes the occasion that much more significant. So from cul-de-sac Virginia - Hats Off! It takes a big man to admit a mistake. Now let’s try to correct it.

I eat babies

Denny Hastert, whom I lovingly call Jaba the House Speaker, and Nancy Pelosi freaked out when the FBI raided the House office of probably corrupt Representative William Jefferson. They complained that the Executive branch had violated the separation of powers by enforcing a warranted search in a criminal investigation. This is the first time in 200 years that such a search has been conducted and there are certain legal principles based on tradition. Executive Privilege comes to mind. That notwithstanding, protesting a court authorized search over an ill-defined principle is pretty weak. Congressional offices should not be law-free zones. Any notion that these office should be beyond the reach of law enforcement seems like total bunk to me but I will leave that to the constitutional scholars.

The more interesting motivation for the Hastert’s response may be that Denny is under investigation for bribery related to the Abramoff scandal. ABC news is reporting that the Justice Department has been looking at fundraiser for Hastert sponsored by the convicted lobbyist. He would naturally be disinclined to FBI searches of his office.

It is getting hard to believe that any of the Republicans (and an increasing number of Dems) are not corrupt or self-serving.

Welcome to Cell Block D

The Enron verdicts came down today. Ken Lay was found guilty on all counts. Jeff Skilling was found guilty on 19 of 28. Both face sentences of 100+ years.

So for all of those whose lives you destroyed, I would just like to say "adios, motherfuckers".

An organization we should all get behind

These people are doing God's work.

Via the Gilded Moose.

Being Al Gore

Howard Fineman has a new piece on Al Gore in Newsweek. First off, I have to admit to being a huge fan of Gore. He is smart, funny, and a truly capable politician. He believes in doing right by doing good. And now he is trying to save the world. His new film, "An Inconvenient Truth", lays out the coming consequences of global warming and how we can get ourselves out of the mess we've created. I have not seen the film yet but I will the first chance I get.

The problem with Gore is that he seems to rub some people the wrong way. He has been described as stiff, overbearing, self-righteous, etc. I have never understood the potent aversion folks have to the man but I think James Carville put it correctly in the article:

“The reason people don’t like Gore is that he has been right so damn many times,”

I wish I could say the same about the current Administration and I wish like hell that Gore runs in 2008. We need someone that is good, right, and wants to make government work again.

Bushworld vs. Real world

Bushworld:
"Touting stronger radio systems and enough food, water and ice to last a week for 1 million people, the Bush administration sought Tuesday to prove it is better prepared for the brewing hurricane season than it was last year."

Real world:
"A mock evacuation that was supposed to be part of a two-day statewide hurricane preparedness drill was canceled after a misunderstanding about who had jurisdiction over a
Federal Emergency Management Agency trailer park."

And the clown show rolls on.

Indestructible

Keith Richards is going back on tour in June - just short of two month after having brain surgery. If you haven't heard, the 62 year old rock god fell out of a palm tree while on vacation in Fiji and banged his head. Doctors operated on May 8th in an effort to relieve building pressure. Now he going back on the road. Amazing. After years of booze, drugs, and groupies, one would think that Richards has gotten just a bit fragile. Thankfully not.

Keith Richards - You cannot stop him; you can only hope to contain him.

The good Reverend is back

Fresh off his most recent disaster prediction, Pat Robertson's CBN site is touting his age-defying shake. Per his website, this magical potion has given the 70+ year old preacher the ability to leg-press 2000 pounds. That's right people; this Man Of God has the wherewithal to press a literal ton. Truly a miracle one might say. And that person would be an idiot.

This is such obvious bullshit; it's like saying the Earth is 6,000 years old...

His bogus claim begs a bigger question though. If Robertson is shilling for his enchanted concoction, can we now, finally, assign him his proper title of snake-oil salesman?

Tip of the hat to The Carpetbagger.

Morning funnies

The ever brilliant Tom Tomorrow strikes again. If you don't read him, you probably should.

The Onion, you know you want it.

Reuters reports on a new study that says 18% of English dog owners feed their pets better than themselves. I wonder if this says more about the English as animal lovers or the state of English cuisine.

And finally, from the AP, a Lithuanian man gets busted for DUI and tests 18 times the legal limit. Apparently, he had a hard night of drinking and decided to "freshen up" with a pint first thing in the morning. The quotes from the police and medical personnel are priceless.

Mission Accomplished

The Huffington Post’s headline this morning links to a seriously depressing Newsweek story by Michael Hirsh regarding our government’s own assessment of the prospects for Iraq. The sub-heading:

As Iraq’s weak new government takes shape, the Bush administration’s best hope is for a non-bloodbath.

Awesome. Way to go guys.

What is good for the goose is good for the gander

One of my favorite expressions is “conversation killer”. It was a term I first heard in college and have used ever since. I define it as the moment someone says something unfunny, inappropriate, not germane or downright nasty in an otherwise enjoyable discussion that brings the whole thing to a halt. Usually, the killer will either be shouted down, belittled, or worst of all, force the disbanding of the conversation for fear that they will speak again. The best example of this I have seen recently is from “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”, when Andrea Martin’s character corners the mother and father of the groom at the engagement party and relates the tale of discovering her long dead twin in a biopsied lump on her neck. The groom’s parents look like they would do anything to escape – a telltale sign of a confirmed conversation kill. This preamble leads me to the following.

A major theme in the Democratic Party’s effort to retake the Congress in ’06 has been to emphasize the Republican “culture of corruption”. From Jack Abramoff to Tom Delay to Duke Cunningham to Halliburton to Florida 2000 (dammit), the GOP is DRIPPING in corruption. The Democrats may well have ridden that theme all the way to victory in November. But consistent with recent history, they find a way to fuck it up badly. Enter one William Jefferson (D-LA), allegedly guilty of taking one hundred thousand dollars in bribes from an FBI undercover agent informant (thanks to Madelyn for correcting me in Comments) while on camera. Ninety thousand of which was found wrapped in foil in his freezer. Are you fucking kidding me? Have you never heard of a safety deposit box or a coffee can in the yard? This same idiot is claimed to have bemoaned the use of notes to communicate to his alleged bribers (I presume because it was too complicated) as though “the FBI was watching”. No way that could happen – what with the recent care our government has taken to protect our civil rights. And the fact that Jefferson represents New Orleans – yeah, the Feds are not going to be paying extra special attention to a potentially corrupt Democrat from the recently destroyed Jewel of the Mississippi.

The facts of the case may still be in dispute. Jefferson, as of this writing, is not yet charged. Fine – whatever. I find it extremely unlikely that the ninety large hidden in the freezer is going to be explained away. If I find that kind of money in my freezer, the first thing I ask my wife is “What is really going on at yoga?”

Jefferson has yet to say anything meaningful in his defense. That should be the sign for the Democratic leadership to throw this guy an anchor and let him sink. He may well be innocent (I cannot imagine a scenario were that is possible but that is why God gave us defense attorneys), but fuck him. November is too important to let one guy sink the chance to make some much needed changes in the way OUR government is run. Ditch Jefferson now. He is our conversation killer for the corruption charges. We need the issue WAY MORE than we need him.

T-shirt Politics

For my birthday last summer, the lovely L. bought me this t-shirt. I loved it so much that I bought a long-sleeve version for my sister (hey P. – hope Rubes and the Little Sumo are doing well). As I have worn it over the past year, peoples’ reactions to it are a quick barometer of their political leanings. P. told me a story about the disapproving reaction she received at the grocery store in ultra-conservative Fairbanks, Alaska. I live in Norfolk, Virginia – a military town in a very red state. The first few times I was out and had the shirt on, I mostly received nasty looks and no one ever made any sign of agreement. Although the sentiment is offensive to only the most ardent of Limbaugh listeners, no one wants to get into a confrontation with a wingnut over three words. So even though I love the shirt, I always have a certain sense of trepidation when wearing it out in public. Today, it was an affirmation of my belief that Bush is, in fact, the Worst. President. Ever.

L., J., and I went to the Stockley Gardens Arts Festival today. The Arts Festival is a neighborhood art show that has been running for the past twenty-odd years, in a fairly affluent and conservative area of Norfolk. Politcally speaking, you have a healthy mix of lefty artsy types and the relatively wealthy and republican residents of the environs. A few minutes into our walk about the park, a woman walking past looked me in the eye and said “I totally agree”. For a moment, I had no idea what she was talking about until L. looked at me, smiled and said, ‘Did you hear that?”. I guess I was wearing my cluelessness on my face because she then said “Your shirt”. Oh yeah. It was first time a stranger had ever said anything positive about it. So that in and of itself was pretty cool. As we kept walking, another woman told me she loved it. A guy showing his work asked me where I got it. A Jim Webb for Senate organizer almost fell down trying to get to me when we walked by. And so it went. People were looking at the three words that say so much and were laughing rather than shooting the cold stares I had gotten used to receiving. So today at least, in my cul-de-sac of Virginia, George Bush is not a popular president.

Mouth of the South

Being that we are a little overdue for a Pat Robertson idiocy eruption, the nutty Rev. has provided anew. It seems that Pat had a personal prayer retreat back in January and the Lord spoke to him.

"If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms,"…

"There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest,"…

Robertson made the first statement on May 8th and the second on the 17th. Aside from the palpable insanity of conversing with God, I am bothered by a couple of other things. First of all, if God told Robertson of impending calamity in January, why the hell are we only now hearing about this? I have hurricane preparedness tasks that now need immediate attention; things I would have done sooner if I had this kind of intel directly from the Lord. I mean God controls the weather right – who could know better? Pat has been holding out on us. What a dick!

Another annoying thing is the sheer blinding obviousness of those statements. Yes – something bad may happen in the Northwest. Bad shit happens there fairly often; earthquakes, forest fires, land slides, huge fucking mountains that explode. Stating that does not make him a soothsayer or God’s hand puppet. I live on the coast right down the road from Pat Robertson. He has operated out of Virginia Beach for like 45 years. If he doesn’t know by now that the coasts are “lashed by storms” ALL THE FUCKING TIME, then he is either an idiot or a fear mongering asshole. Plain and simple.

The thing that pissed me off most about this though, is the naked pretentiousness of saying “If I heard the Lord right”… If God deemed you important enough for Him to spend His time actually talking to you, don’t you think that the Supreme Being would make Himself pretty God damn (ha ha) clear. He is infallible you half-wit; the entire universe rests on that bit of dogma. It’s not like God mumbles. Perhaps you were too preoccupied counting your blood diamonds to give you the Lord your full attention. Whatever the case, if you weren’t clear on something God said to you, wouldn’t it be worth the effort to get clarification? What He said had to be important – deities are not known for small talk. So next time the Lord speaks to you, listen up!

Time to pick a fight

The Washington Post is reporting that American’s confidence in the GOP’s leadership is at an all-time low. According to their polling, 69% say that the country is headed in the wrong direction. I have thought that since I woke up on the couch in a cold sweat Election Night 2000 to the sound of CNN moving Florida from the Gore column back to ‘Too Close to Call”. The real reason I am writing about this, however, is not to gloat or pretend I know better. The research has two big points the Democrats need to internalize before the election. First, the mood in the nation may be more “Thrown the bums out” rather than focused more directly on Republicans. That means incumbents on both sides may be in danger. The other point of note is that while folks generally seem to prefer a Democratic Congress, it is not because the D’s are inspiring people across the country. Republican arrogance and incompetence have turned voters off. So if the Democrats want to make hay out of the opportunity, they sure a hell need to start putting out their message more effectively and stridently. We need the leadership to start saying more clearly what we are for and make damn sure that the policy differences drawn between our team and theirs are unambiguous and distinct. Most importantly, we need to think big and be tough.

So I beg you, Dem leadership, let’s pick a couple of big issues and start pounding them. Quit trying to please everyone. And for God’s sake, don’t be afraid to kick the Republicans while they are down. Strap on your steel toes and make some damn waffles. Karma demands it.

Caption the Picture

"I love the muumuu but the medallion is a little too Flavor Flav for me".

Bush talks immigration

If you watched Bush’s speech last night, then you deserve to pour yourself another drink. I half-listened on the radio and wanted a martini every time he said assimilation, amnesty, or security. Fortunately for me, I was cooking and could not keep up after the first. Mostly, my impression was this is complete, rambling bullshit from the start. When a good portion of your party’s leadership and power structure is under some form of legal cloud, spouting platitudes like “we are a nation of laws” is just a bit more than disingenuous. Hell, the rumors are flying that Bush’s right-hand man, Karl Rove, may be indicted this week. So that one statement sort of gives you the flavor of what was to follow.

Basically, we are going to send 6,000 National Guard troops to the border in a support role to the existing Border Control patrols. Our border with Mexico is something like 1,900 miles long. That means that we will need to pull guard troops from several other states beyond those along the border. Good luck selling that. What are we to do with the people we catch? We have no place to hold them. All of the “catch and release” talk was just talk. It was cover for a bigger problem. The hurricane and fire seasons are coming and damn few governors are going to be persuaded to part with their NG contingent. The big issue for state executives is disaster response. Katrina casts a long shadow for politicians; the Guard was the first institution that stepped into New Orleans and helped restore some order. No smart Governor is going to be caught with too few Guard units when one million people in their state have lost power due to a hurricane, an earthquake hits, or a few hundred thousand acres catch fire. That is political suicide in the West, Southwest, and South after the seeing the disastrous federal reaction to Katrina. If Bush thinks that the eastern Upper Midwest and Northeast are going to be eager to comply, he needs to think again. Bush is really disliked there. So saddle up Idaho, Kansas, Utah, and Oklahoma – it may be a very busy year. In addition, many Guard units have deployed recently to Iraq and Afghanistan. A stretch on the Mexican border is going to be about as popular as Louis Farrakhan at a Klan rally with Guardsmen, their families, and the Govs that give their orders.

The Decider has also decided that we need a guest worker program. This seems like a pretty reasonable idea to me but I have no idea how something like this would be implemented so I cannot speak to the effectiveness of such a plan. Unfortunately, neither did our Dear Leader. He knows that the Devil is in the details and conspicuously avoided saying anything that could be mistaken as such. I guess he gets points for giving a correct answer but not full credit because he didn’t show his work. In addition, deportation was ruled out. Right… This whole plan will not wash with the Conservatives if we are not shipping the lawbreakers across the border by the busload. Again, either this is bullshit or he is completely out of touch with where the Tancredo wing of his party is. Anything that smacks of amnesty is a dog that will not hunt with his base. He proposed just that for illegals that have been here for a while, have jobs, and otherwise clean records. Again, I guess he gets some credit for saying it, but any such plan is DOA in the current Congress.

All of that said, I wanted to smash the fucking television when he spoke about penalties for employers that hire undocumented workers. Warning – serious cursing begins here. Bush wants to force all businesses to ensure that employers hire only documented workers. If they fail to do so, serious penalties would be enforced. Again, bullshit and here's why. The construction, agriculture, and hospitality industries employ a HUGE number of illegal workers. Coincidentally, companies in these industries give HUGE amounts of money to the Republican Party. Not coincidentally, Bush (motherfucker) decried rampant document fraud as a reason to not hold businesses accountable for hiring illegals right now. These companies are just too stupid to know if they are hiring illegals. Huge monster bullshit. I guess the real problem is farm workers from Honduras faking visas with a napkin and a Crayola 64 pack. Bush wants to combat forgery with a biometric identity card to guarantee a worker’s legitimacy. What the fucking fuck? How long with that take to get off the ground? How many people think the average roofing contractor cares about a worker’s status? Claiming documentation forgery is a transparent cover for the desire to not hold employers accountable. If he wanted to get serious about enforcement, fines and prison terms for hiring undocumented workers would rival those of drug dealing. Ignorance would not be a viable excuse for breaking the law. Immigration raids would be nabbing people by the thousands and actually have some place to process and hold arrestees. The executives of retail, food processing and construction firms would be lined up around the block at the nearest federal court awaiting trial.

These are the consequences to a real enforcement regime. Businesses are the biggest beneficiary of illegal immigration. This administration has a long record of supporting business interests over almost everything else. I seriously doubt that Bush and the Republicans have the balls to heavily sanction their corporate masters now that he is a lame duck. Serious reform would require serious people. These folks ain’t it.

Not even Nixon was this evil

The revelation that the National Security Agency has been tracking the phone calls of citizens made within the United States, in direct contraction to previous statements on the matter, is more than a little troubling. It seems to me to be a direct violation of the Fourth Amendment’s prohibition of “unreasonable search and seizure” without a warrant. When this first came to light, I wasn’t that concerned relative to the other horrible things the government is doing in the name of war on terror. I was wrong to be so indifferent. Via Atrios, it seems that the NSA may be using this data to ferret out sources used by ABC news. The opening line from the story:

A senior federal law enforcement official tells ABC News the government is tracking the phone numbers we call in an effort to root out confidential sources.

People, that is pretty damn terrifying. It would appear that our nation’s spy agencies are spending an enormous amount of time and money combating dissent, rather than say, finding terrorists. This is so Orwellian, I almost think someone is just making it up. These people need to go now. The Constitution should not be treated as a suggestion box. Hell, even that paranoid bastard Nixon didn’t go this far.

Denial ain't just a river

In a Fox News interview Sunday, First Lady Laura said she does not believe opinion polls placing the President's approval at new record lows.

"I don't really believe those polls. I travel around the country. I see people, I see their responses to my husband. I see their response to me,"...

This level of denial is just ridiculous. Perhaps that response is rooted in the year's of enabling her husband's drunken behavior. Maybe it is just a Stepford reflex or Marie Antionette syndrome. It could be Tinkerbell disorder ("Clap louder children"). Whatever the clinical cause, Laura Bush is clearly suffering from the same thing that has infected our Federal government; the inablilty to observe and react to reality.

It is a sickness that leads to statements like Iraq is progressing nicely. New Orleans reconstruction is going well. The deficit is under control. Rich people need more tax cuts. The President and Congress are doing a fine job. Nothing to see here people, move along.

The bottom line is that our government has a congenital inablility to recognize problems in a timely manner, and, hence, create solutions before things get out of hand. That failure has killed thousands of people, destroyed a city, and started a civil war. It is time for some adults to run the show. The midterm elections can't get here soon enough.

Fad in a can

Does anybody understand this? The Japanese are notorious for embracing "the new thing" but selling people air is a little too silly I think. I understand that high doses of O2 can be invigorating but a two second huff from a can? I don't get it.

Who thought that this was a good idea? - World Cup Edition

Via Steve Gilliard, I learned the FIFA has chosen Budweiser as the Official Beer of the 2006 World Cup. You know the one in Germany. That means the only beer available at any of the matches would be Bud products. This is just unbelievable. To force beer-crazy Germans to drink American beer in their own country is just nuts. First of all, the German’s don’t even think Budweiser is beer. According to Reinheitsgebot, the German Purity rules of 1516, beer must be made of four things and four things only; water, barley, yeast, and hops. Bud adds rice and, therefore, does not qualify. Second, Germany is fiercely proud and protective of its beers and brewing tradition. These people know their beer. And they regard most mass-produced American beer as watery crap. If you grow up drinking Warsteiner and Beck’s, Bud is not going to cut it. Lastly, Anheuser-Busch has had a series of copyright battles with a few European brews and is not well regarded on the continent. FIFA should have known that from the start.

Predictably, the German people rose up (always a dangerous thing) and demanded that some of their beer be served at the matches. Wisely fearing millions of pissed of Germans, Anheuser-Busch has somewhat relented and will allow Bitburger to be served as well. One would think that someone at FIFA would have clued into this a little sooner. To quote Gilliard,”FIFA goes for the money, and pisses off Germany.” That is never a smart move.

Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind

Years of rubber stamping the Administration’s bad policies and worse execution are finally souring on the public and causing the Republicans on the Hill to freak out. The Party that says that government doesn’t work has proven that it doesn’t work when they run it. Polls are showing a potential Democratic tidal wave that threatens to sweep away their control of both houses of Congress and they are scared to death. The Dems poll better on almost every issue; the War, gas prices, healthcare, the budget – you name it. Even conservatives are beginning to jump ship. In an effort to shore up the Republican base, the GOP-led House yesterday passed a bill extending the capital gains and dividends tax cut to the tune of $70 billion. With the President’s approval in the low 30’s (31% according to the latest CNN poll), they had to do something to revive their supporters. So they go for another tax cut for the wealthy that we cannot afford. I cannot imagine a more fiscally irresponsible action. We are drowning in a sea of debt and these cowards decided to add to it. The Democrats need to grow a pair of balls and really go after the Republicans on this. The R’s love to portray the D’s as “tax and spend liberals”. It is high time we fire back; especially when the Republican Congress is behaving like reckless teenagers on a spending spree with Daddy’s credit card.

Democrats should call for that $70 billion to be invested on three issues that desperately need it; issues that highlight the gross failure of Republican governance. IMHO, these are the planks that the D’s should use to pound the shit out of the GOP in the run up to the November elections.

Veteran’s benefits - We are quickly closing in on 20,000 injured servicemen from our Iraqi adventure. These folks deserve a helluva lot better treatment than they are receiving. The GOP House voted to cut $25 billion in veteran’s healthcare and benefits programs in 2004. The Veterans Administration is so short of funds that it applies a surcharge to vets entering the system. That is not only perverse, it is dishonorable. The Dems can really support the troops by restoring that funding and provide tangible help to veterans. And we can force the Republicans to defend their record of spewing platitudes while cutting funding and undermining soldiers’ quality of life. Running your mouth and slapping a magnet on your car are not solutions.

Sustainable Clean Energy – If we put forth a program to make the United States energy self-sufficient by say 2030 (or whatever is realistic) and put the cash behind it, we can fundamentally alter the world order. No more being nice to dictatorships that have oil. We can do our part to slow global warming and maybe save Florida from rising ocean levels (BTW – Anyone that says humans are not adversely affecting global climate is either ignorant of the facts or a liar). We can have cleaner air and water. Just imagine the economic benefits of spending all of the money that we give to Saudi Arabia, et al. domestically. The elapsed time from the Wright brother’s first flight to Neil Armstrong standing on the Moon was less than 70 years. America can surely do this if we put our minds to it and give those minds the resources to make it happen.

Resurrect New Orleans and the Gulf Coast – Nothing exposes the R’s failure to lead than the ongoing disaster that is the Post-Katrina Gulf Coast. They failed to fund levee construction. They failed in the immediate aftermath of the storm. And they continue to fail those brave souls that decided to stay and help rebuild that unique American city. The GOP has decided, repeatedly, that war and tax cuts have a higher priority than reconstruction in the Gulf. We need to call them on that bit of callousness and respond with a Marshall Plan for the region. We helped rebuild a crippled Europe after WWII. We should do it again on our home turf. We must revive the notion of compassion in government (despite W.’s enormous bullshit lip service to same) and provide some real assistance. Rebuilding the levees around NOLA will cost about what we spend in Iraq in a month. Providing some help to those that lost everything when their city was destroyed should be our top priority. Not doing so, while overpaying for the reconstruction of Baghdad, is a betrayal of the Constitution’s edict to provide for the “general welfare” of our citizens.

Dems can talk gas prices, corruption, whatever; what we need is a concrete plan of action that will positively affect the lives of Americans. I am just a schmuck knocking out posts in my living room. Smarter people than me form our nation’s policy. But on these issues, all I hear is talk. Well, talk is cheap. Let’s spend the fucking money on something worthwhile. Paris Hilton’s Porsche dealer doesn’t need a commission more than a New Orleans teacher needs a home.

UPDATE: Holy shit! A new Harris poll shows W. at 29% approval. Congress stands at 18%.

B is for Bob

Twenty five years ago today, we lost the great Robert Nesta Marley to cancer at age 36. What he left behind was a collection of the finest music ever conceived. The legacy and legend of Bob Marley is hard to overstate. He is in the pantheon of past musical masters with Mozart, Elvis, Lennon, and Cash. Activist, Rasta, and Reggae Jesus – he is the man. Most importantly, he is timeless and pretty much universally respected. That respect is grounded in his sound, how he lived, what he stood for, and finally, what he sang about; prejudice, war, freedom, Jamaica, God, black power, family, dignity, justice, equality, and love. He was the international voice of a people, a religion, a musical genre, and a nation. He wrote inspirational music that speaks to anyone that will be taken in by the intoxicating bounce of reggae. His greatest strength, however, was the straight from the gut tone of his lyrics. Take the opening line from Trenchtown Rock:

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel OK.”

Yeah – that is about right. I have been a fan since I first heard him in the seventh grade. I think I have seen the Wailers more than any other band except for the Ramones. When L. was giving birth, Bob was playing in the delivery room. Our boy J. was brought into this world to the sound of Exodus. As a cranky infant, one of the few things I could do to console him was to dance with him in my arms, while Songs of Freedom played on the stereo. For that alone, I owe Bob Marley a huge debt of gratitude.

“I woke this morning, smiled with the rising sun. Three little birds were on my doorstep,
singing sweet songs of melodies pure and true. This is my message to you-who-who.
Don’t worry ‘bout a thing, ‘cause every little thing is gonna be alright.”

Ok – Three Little Birds may be overplayed, but you cannot deny the rhythm or sentiment. This is one of the terrific songs to play if you have a tedious task to do or just need to put a smile on your face. Try it sometime. I promise it works.

“I know that I’m not perfect, and that I don’t claim to be. But before you point your finger, make sure your hands are clean. Judge not, lest you be judged yourself.”

It was 1962 when Marley wrote ‘Judge Not’. He was seventeen years old at the time. It’s pretty damn amazing for a kid to so succinctly state the nature of tolerance. Ninety percent of adults need to learn that lesson. I wish like hell they would.

‘Burning and Looting’, ‘Africa Unite’, ‘Stir It Up’, ‘No Woman, No Cry’. I could go on for days quoting lyrics and writing about what they mean to me. That would get boring really quickly. So instead, I urge you to dig through your music collection and find your copy of ‘One Love’. I know you have one, so go get it. Take care of whatever you need to do to get yourself five uninterrupted minutes and soak in the pure musical, mystical genius.

I never knew the man and never saw him play live, but, dear Lord, I wish I had. Bob, we miss you.

“Rastaman live up. Congoman don’t give up. Rastaman live up. Natty dread don’t give up.”

Do not try this at home

I live in an old house and I love old houses. To my mind, they are better built, have more charm, and nearly always have more character. That character thing, however, can be a real double-edged sword. For example, I have these really cool diamond mullion windows in my house. They look great but are drafty as hell. Everyone that has an old house can share more than a few examples of their own.

And usually, the older the house, the more character. My house was built in 1918; my previous house 1908; the house I grew up in 1896. I have a pretty long history in this arena and have learned a couple of things about it. First, something odd happens to a place that has been lived in for a few generations. People will add their personal flavor to a place, some of which is permanent, and thankfully, most is not. Quirky bathrooms, weird kitchen designs, bizarre mixing of the old and new. Try to find a place to put a refrigerator in a kitchen that was designed before the icebox was invented. Second, no matter what, it is a HUGE pain in the ass to work in an old place. After decades of tinkering and natural settling, nothing is level and nothing is square.

So when L. and I decided that we needed to replace our nasty kitchen and adjoining bathroom floor, I was leaning towards having professionals do it. I hate laying floors. If you want to experience knee pain and serious frustration, put down a couple hundred tiles. When she found the black and white tiles we wanted in ceramic, I started calling for estimates. (BTW – it is nearly impossible to find plain jane black and white in peel and stick.) So we found a guy for a reasonable price who said it would take two days and I got my boss to let me work from home while the crew did their thing. And so the saga began.

I meet the guy (hereafter referred to as Mutt) at Home Depot to pick up the rest of the materials on Monday morning. His partner (AKA Jeff) was late – not a great start - so I got to help load everything into the van. Once back at the house, Mutt and I went over everything that needed to get done; which wires not to cut, which doors needed be trimmed to accommodate the rise in the floor, etc. Scope discussions concluded I headed upstairs to the sound of demolition in my kitchen. By the time the crew was packing up Monday evening, my house was covered in dust, every room downstairs had been cluttered up with cooking items, and the phone line that I specifically said not to cut (you guessed it) had been severed at the baseboard. Adding insult to injury, it rained all day so clay dust from tile cutting started to form rock-like mud deposits which were tracked all over the first floor. I was furious. I channeled my inner Homer Simpson and began thinking to myself ‘Urge to kill rising’. I salved my anger with beer. L. thought I was going to have an aneurism.

Tuesday arrived and I had calmed down a bit and was actually pretty stoked. Mutt and Jeff would have the floor finished and they would be out of my house. Oh happy day! I am smoking a cigarette outside when Mutt pulls into my driveway. Before he even gets out of the van, he informs me that the kitchen phone doesn’t work anymore. No shit. He said they had to cut it to get the tile down. I don’t understand why this is true but whatever. Urge to kill rising. Mutt then tells me they need more floor mud and I need to go back to Home Depot to get more. Urge to kill rising. I drive twenty minutes to the mud, twenty minutes back, give them the bag, and get to work. Most of the day passed uneventfully until they are ready to knock off for the day. Mutt informed me that they could not raise the pedestal sink and I would need a plumber. Great news! Plumbers are notorious for overcharging on small jobs like this. When you make $75 an hour, why waste an hour of drive time for a $150 job when you could just as easily take a $1000 one. In the construction biz, more so than almost any other, time is money. Urge to kill rising. But Mutt had even more good tidings. He could only cut three of the four doors and we needed custom thresholds. Because of the difference in height between the tiles and the subfloor, no common threshold would bridge the gap; the fourth door has a rather old and complicated swing mechanism and he balked at trying to reinstall it. We now needed a carpenter. His final bit of news; they needed another day to finish. Awesome! Another day of chaos, here I come. Urge to kill rising.

Today, Mutt and Jeff arrived and informed me that they underestimated the amount of grout, baseboard, and shoe molding they need. Mutt says I need to go back to Home Depot. Urge to kill rising. I go get the stuff, come back home, and get to work.

This afternoon, they finally finished. The floor looks great. The baseboard and shoe molding are fitted well. Mutt and Jeff collected their check and are gone from my life forever. After they leave, I went outside to smoke and on my front porch I found the brand new unopened bag of grout I bought this morning. Urge to kill rising. L. has not seen it yet but I am sure she is going to be ecstatic, and really, that is the most important thing.

I offer this story as a cautionary tale to those of you considering similar activities. Home improvement is ALWAYS more expensive and irritating that you think it will be. And while I now have a beautiful floor, I need a plumber, carpenter, and electrician to get my kitchen and bathroom back to full working order. So my advice to anyone thinking of doing a job around the house: before you go down that road, consider moving first. It may just be easier on your wallet and your mental state.

Oy - this is just scary

Major hat tip to MyDD for this but Jesus jumping Christ on a pogo stick. I cannot believe that this guy is our President. The money quote:

The Troglodyte in Chief actually said that his best moment in his presidency "was when I caught a 7.5 pound (3.402 kilos) perch in my lake."

If catching a fish ranks as your crowning achievement as leader of the free world, the you NEED TO AIM HIGHER. The man has a fair bit on the plate but WOW. I know things have not been going well on the foreign or domestic front. I know several members of the Republican power structure have been convicted, arrested, or have resigned under suspicion of wrong doing. But for a guy that has a history of lying, don't you think he could have spun something up a little more revelant or interesting than this? I am just saying...

Who thought that this was a good idea?

So I was perusing the paper this morning when I was thunderstruck by, potentially, the WORST IDEA EVER. Hair metal, New Coke, invading Russia during the winter - they pale in comparison. It seems that some genius at the Virginia Department for the Blind and Vision Impaired, inspired by God only knows what, organized a skating event for the blind. The opening line from the Pilot had me laughing my ass off:

Perhaps it was a bad idea to strap skates on a blind woman and send her off unescorted around a roller rink. Perhaps not.

Perhaps not. WTF? How about hell no, are you insane? I get the need to be objective and all but give me a break. This is an idea that would more probably come from someone that hated the blind.

Predictably, a woman fell, broke her wrists and hurt her shoulders, and is now suing the Department. We ll knock me over with a feather. What's next? Taking four year olds to the shooting range. How about bungee-jumping for heart patients?

The Sixth Seal has been broken

Seriously people, it is time to make peace with your personal god or failing that, your family, friends, etc. The end is nigh and I fear that we may not be prepared. Fire and brimstone, mass hysteria, these may be the Judgement Days. It has been officially revealed that (wait for it...), Britany Spears Federline is with child. Now go say your rosary.

OK - now that you are back, let's go over some recent history. Seven months ago, Bit-Bit gave birth to K-Fed's THIRD child Sean Preston. Two months later, Senior Kev is rumored to have spent the night with mother of his first two kids, Shar Jackson. Last month, Sean Preston, their first child, was dropped on his head. Insert your own punchline here.
(Sidebar - Yeah, I know too much about these two. They are the trainwreck I cannot get enough of.)

And today, Our Boy Kevin has officially done it again. To steal a line from Bill Maher (I think), the only thing about him that works is his sperm. Add to this the news that Brit has assigned Kevin a minder for his upcoming promotional tour (I know I can't wait to get a taste of his rap stylings). Yes, her lame-ass husband needs a babysitter to keep him out of trouble. How much of a screwup do you have to be for that kind of treatment?

So to recap, he is an idiot scumbag incapable of traveling without supervision; she is immature and reckless as hell. They have already proven to be pretty bad parents only seven months in and now they are going bring another child into the world. That's just fucking great.

Will someone please sterilize K-Fed? PLEASE! Sooner or later, they will spawn the Anti-Christ. The Federline bloodline must not be allowed to continue or we all may face Armeggedon.

Sudan and Darfur

A good friend Anj asked that I write a post about the conflict in Darfur and try to offer some clarification of just what is going on there. Tons of articles have been written about the crisis and I plan to crib liberally from a few. I don’t claim to be an expert on this issue but I have read enough to know a good bit of the history and background. So here goes.

There are a couple of nearly universal truths in the studies of history and political science. One of my favorites is countries whose borders contain straight lines are generally going to be less stable than those having more irregular borders. When the European colonial powers were divvying up the globe, they often settled territorial disputes by having a cartographer slice an area along a negotiated and artificial line, irrespective of the situation on the ground. This arbitrarily forced different religious/ethnic/tribal/clan groups into an unnatural state of co-existence. Groups that had spent generations fighting each other into a stalemate and, hence, some stability, were again compelled to pick up old grudges. It is amazing the number of wars caused by ill-conceived borders and bad mapmaking. And Africa is a case study in bad mapmaking. Colonial indifference to ethnic homelands is a primary reason for so much of the conflict there. Countries were formed containing two, three, etc. competing groups that had no intention of cooperating for the greater good. Historical ethnic homelands were split among several nations. Tribal interests, therefore, always trumped this interest of the State because the State was artificial. Internal chaos was the result. Eventually, a strongman would rise up, seize power by usually brutal means, and subjugate the portion of the populace not of his clan. Examples abound: Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Uganda, Congo, Chad, and, of course, Sudan. The current Darfur conflict starts with these basic ingredients: segregated, internal groups that hate each other, sparking violence and instablility, giving rise to a dictatorship that ruthlessly tries to reign in the opposition.

Northern Sudan, historically, has been mostly Arab, Muslim and wealthier than the South. The South is more African, more Christian and animist and less well off. When the British occupied Sudan, they forcibly separated the two, preventing movement back and forth and increasing the isolation and lack of trust between the Arabs and Africans. In 1955, the South revolted, leading to a hideous civil war that lasted until 1972, when a peace accord was brokered and a reasonably representative government was formed. The nation was relatively stable until the mid 80’s when government revoked regional autonomy and established sharia law. Then the entire region was plagued by drought (remember “We Are The World”) and Sudan went to hell in a hand basket. The civil war started up again, leading to a series of military coups and the rise of the Sudanese Liberation Army (SLA) in Darfur. The government in Khartoum perceived the SLA to be a serious threat and responded by unleashing the Janjaweed, the notoriously vicious Arab militia, providing air support, weapons, and money. The Janjaweed proceeded to murder and rape hundreds of thousands. Entire villages were slaughtered. Whole regions were overrun and the populace fled, resulting in millions of displaced refugees. Most survivors have been herded into camps, with little or no ability to support themselves. The Sudanese government blocks most NGO aid efforts and is content to let the population die from starvation, disease, and neglect. This is the face of Darfur that we see on the news.

The sick irony here is that a peace was brokered last year between the government and the Southern opposition. The SLA and most of the rebel militias have been wiped out. A good bit of the Arab militia has been folded into the Sudanese army. The whole situation arose because of government’s desire to cling to power and it succeeded. Yet millions are homeless, helpless, and dying.

Which begs the question, why is no one doing anything? I think there are a couple of reasons. First, the UN Security Council is hamstrung by China. Sudan exports to China a huge amount of oil and Beijing is loathe to rock the boat and disturb the flow of energy. Hence, all resolutions to deal with the situation are met with a veto threat from China. In addition, Khartoum can’t address the humanitarian crisis without acknowledging its role in creating it. Dictatorships never admit wrongdoing. Introspection is usually avoided when you suck as bad as the Sudanese government. And finally, I think most countries fear attempting to pacify yet another African genocide after seeing the beating the US took in Somalia. The world did nothing about the disasters in Rwanda, the Congo, and Eritrea. Why would this be any different? Once you turn your back on this type of conflict, it gets easier each succeeding time. After a while, you get desensitized to it.

A good parallel for Darfur is finding out your neighbor beats his kid. You can report it the first time you realize there is a problem or you can ignore it and hope it goes away. But the longer you wait to report it, the harder it becomes because your lack of action indirectly implicates you. The world had the chance to step in before things got completely out of control in Darfur and we failed. Doing so now would require us all face up to this uncomfortable truth: Sometimes inaction is implicit approval. We didn’t stop the abuse when we first had the chance. With each subsequent beating, at least partially, the blood is on our hands.

And I thought listening to the Federalist Society was crazy

Sometimes you come across something so bizarre; you think it has to be made up. This is for real. Apparently, a judge in the Philippines was fired by that country's Supreme Court because he claimed he could see into the future and often consulted with three mystic dwarves (named Armand, Luis and Angel for those scoring at home). The judge, Florentino Floro, claimed that he should not be fired for "what I believe". Hmm, OK. That's just plain stupid. One cannot be a responsible Biology teacher and disbelieve the theory of evolution. If you don't believe in the Bible, you can't be a Priest. Some jobs have minimum requirements and qualifications. Judges, by necessity, must be of sound mind (Tony Scalia included). Furthermore, any position of responsibility should be denied someone this obviously insane. To steal a line from P. J. O'Rourke, it's like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. Bad things will eventually happen.

I also wonder how long it will be before Judge Floro teams up with these guys.

Hell hath no fury like a Pakistani woman scorned

In a previous post, I made an offhand comment about the dangers of polygamy. Specifically, asking one's wife to accept another woman into the marriage may result in dismemberment. Well, this lady took it one step further.

Solidarity

So I was watching Lou Dobbs yesterday. Lou, as per usual, was going off on the illegal immigration topic and the protest rallies across the nation. I still don't know how I feel about the whole issue. I can't even begin to understand all of the implications of this debate but I saw something that stuck with me. Here were hundreds of thousands of people coming together for a similar purpose, supporting each other. That, in and of itself, is inspiring. It also reminded me of a feeling that I had in college. One of less noble purpose but eliciting no less a visceral response. If you have never been to Blacksburg, Va., you are missing a wonderful little town. And in this town, next door to the Solar House, down the street from the Shack and Bentwood, we had our rallying point, an attainable goal, a network of support, a kegorator, and a price of admission. We had Houston Street.

For two dollars into the head of Budman, one was given a night of bottomless beer, Asshole in the kitchen, a lost hour or two listening to the Misfits or the Beasties in E. or J.'s room, and an insane collage of humanity with which to pass the time. Hippies, punks, surfer/skater grommets looking for a good time, straight folks that liked to drink and smoke, speed metal kids on acid, and freaks on everything else. Guys with mohawks, chicks scarier and tougher than their boyfriends, some girls that looked sorority, some that looked asylum, and pricks that stole shit. All manner of man and beast; yet they all fit in for two bucks.

You could fight, fuck, get drunk or otherwise twisted, play loud music and fall down the stairs. No matter what happened, the people of Houston Street would take care of you as best they could. These were misfits that formed, if not a family, then a bizarre community that shared a bit of their lives with each other and looked out for their own. There was a drunken claim of diplomatic immunity to wrangle a backseat ambulance ride with a friend that had busted his head open on the nulepost. There were massive sob-sister cry sessions when a man had done one of the women wrong. There were several vicious beatings when some dumb schmuck hit the wrong guy at a party. There were demonic rodeo clown fashion shows, screaming matches that began with "You know what your problem is", and facial assaults with Magic Markers. There was always the next day to do it over again.

So as I was watching this diverse, teaming mass of humanity march in unity, I knew it was not for the next pull on the keg or game at video hockey. It was for a higher goal that had brought them together, one that had no next day to look to, and one I really can't understand. But I did understand the kind of group they had formed. It was an ad hoc group of different people looking for others to share one voice. E Pluribus Unum. That I get.